I have learned...

As these looooong six months with Curt gone slooooowly come to an end, 7 weeks left, but who is counting... I thought I'd take a few minutes to think about what I have learned from this experience.
While I am so glad Curt will be coming home soon, I unfortunatley know that is probably not the last time we will be apart. But as much as it goes against my nature, I am going to try and NOT focus on that. I am going to try and just focus on the happiness and joy I feel in my heart knowing that our family will be back together again and push away all those worries and fears of how I will get through if and when we have to face this again. As a good friend of mine said, "this is the life we have chosen and accept it for better or for worse..." Being apart has taught me how very important it is to cherish the times that we ARE togther.
So, have I handled all this the way I thought I would.... you know the delusional way I had in my mind when it all started. You know, keeping it all together all the time, perfect house, PTO, sports, sleepovers... doing all this with a smile while mantaining a poistive attitude and patience with my kids. Well, that would be a big, fat, NO.... I have had more temper tantrums than I care to mention, we have been thru every drive thru in town more than I ever imagined, and don't get me started on the house.... I have had to so say no to sleepovers many times because I just don't have the energy and PTO has become an afterthought. Yes, my goals have definitley gotten a lot simpler. Do my kids feel loved everyday, do I comfort them when they are sad or hurt. Yes, despite all the things that in some peoples eyes could be considered failures, in my eyes these are the MOST important things and I feel I have succeeded here.
I have been following a good friend's blog and she has been writing about getting through her husband's one year tour in Korea... she put into words what I never have been able to to describe how I feel about this seperation... she said, " Althought the military has required us to spend much time apart, we are ALWAYS in this together...."

Our Life...

I was sitting out on the patio this evening, just before dark watching the kids play. They were playing hide and seek. I remember how much fun it was to do that in the dark when I was kid. While I was sitting there I was all the sudden overcome with such sadness. Sometime missing Curt just creeps up on me and hits me like a frieght train. Normally he would be sitting there with me and we would be talking. We have our best talks sitting by the fire in the evening while the kids are running around playing. It sounds really strange to say but while I was incredibly sad that Curt was not there to enjoy the evening with me, I was thankful at the same time for that feeling. It just reminds me of how very lucky I am to be married to my best friend. Missing him reminds of how much I love him. It reminds of how important it is to cherrish those little things with the ones we love. Because those are the things we miss most when we can't be with the ones we love.

This deployment has really been a struggle for a lot of reasons. This is the first time that Curt has been gone for this long of a time when the kids are old enough to realize it. It's hard because I tend to want to put things off with kids so that Curt won't miss out on them. Like, I was thinking the other day, Tyler is old enough to start cutting the grass, and it would be really helpful to me right now. Then I started thinking, well that is something Curt should really teach him. Or, I really want to take the kids to see Karate Kid, but I want to be able to do that with Curt. Or Luke wants to start playing football this fall, but Curt should be here for his first season. Then you slowly start to realize that you can't put life on hold. We have to keep going and do the best we can. I have been blessed to have wonderful examples in my life of how to keep going as a military family. My mom went through 2 Korea tours with my dad and us three girls on her own. I have had so many friends that have handled these deployments with dignity and grace and I have learned so much from them all. So, right now we are in survival mode, and I know Curt is too. As heart breaking as it is, we have to keep on trucking. So, this weekend, Tyler learned to mow the lawn and we went to see the Karate Kid and I plan on signing Luke up for football. Curt has a job where he is and we are so proud of him, and we have a job here . We have to keep living, even though sometime I just want to close myself up in my bedroom and cry. I want to make Curt proud, and the way we will do that is to keep on living.

Through all this, I have learned that every moment we share is a gift and I will cherish them all, no matter how big or small .

100th Day of School

Just thought I would share this funny photo. The kids celebrated the 100th day of school last week. They were supposed to dress the way they thought they would look if they were 100 years old. It was hillarious to see what some the kids came up with. Tyler and Emily won for their grade level, but Luke lost out to another boy who had a cane and an oxygen tank.... who could beat that!

Tyler and the Tooth Fairy

So, Tyler lost a tooth at school yesterday. It has been a while since he lost one, and questions have come up about the tooth fairy and her legitimacy. I know it is probably time to tell him, but I don't want to ruin for Luke this early. So, I continue with the cherade and tell him to put it under his pillow last night. So at around 10:30 I creep in...keep in mind, this is usually Curt's job, he is much more ninja like than me. So, here I go.... I am crawling on the floor, I reach under his pillow, no tooth. Then I feel his hand clenched in a fist... the little stinker had it clenched in his fist. So, gently try to pry it loose... oh and did I mention that Luke is sleeping with him last night.... so I reeeeeaaaaallllly don't want to get caught. Then all the sudden Tyler sits straight up and I dart out of there so fast I fall on the way out..... OUCH! So, I give it 10 more minutes, try again... still clenched in his hand. Oh, forget it.... I left the money and went to bed. So, he gets up this morning and says " the tooth fairy forgot my tooth, but she left the money, wierd!" Then he tells Curt about it when he calls and Curt tells him to put it under his pillow again tonight to see if he can get a couple more bucks out of it! Thanks a lot Daddy. This time he will probably have a booby trap set for me!!!!!!!

Missing Curt

Curt left for First Sergeant school Saturday. Thankfully it is only for a few weeks, but we still all miss him terribly when he is gone.
I was just laughing with a friend the other day about Curt's packing techniques. We went to AZ for Labor Day weekend. Curt was off Friday and I had to work so I left him a "honey do" list. This was the first time he ever packed us up for a trip. I left a note with exactly what to pack. When I got home he was ready to roll. I expect ed laundry to be laying around needing to be put away, but it appeared that he had it all covered. I was impressed.Then when we got to AZ and I started going through the suitcases I noticed that there was 7 or 8 outfits for each kid. We were only staying for 2 or 3 days. Then the light came on..... As he did laundry he packed everything that came out of the dryer instead of putting it away.... Gotta love the way a man's mind works!

Summer Vacation

It seems like summer is really flying by this year! We finished up the baseball season early June. It was a good season for all the kids. Curt coached for Luke and Emmy, coach pitch. He was the assistant coach for Tyler's team. George came to visit and got to see all the kids play ball and that is always nice. It means so much to the kids to have a grandparent come and watch them.George came down for Curt's promotion ceremony. We all got to go up and the boys punched his stripes on his arms... they thought that was pretty cool.It meant so much to Curt to have his Dad there. We are all very proud of him. While George was here we got to go 4-wheeling and the kids thought is was a blast to ride with Grandpa. We had such a nice time, he 's such a good grandpa. He just sits and talks with the kids or plays whatever they want to play, usually baseball. He went in every night and said prayers with them. It was just a really nice visit.

The week after George left we headed to Alaska for 2 weeks to see my family. The weather was beautiful while we were there. Curt and the kids got to do a lot of fishing and I got to do a lot shopping. :) It was a nice and relaxing trip. Curt took a couple of charters and did really well salmon fishing. He also caught a pretty nice trout. The kids had a great time getting spoiled by nana and playing with their cousin, Jake.

Just a quick update. I will post more fish pictures when I get them uploaded.

End of the year!

I survived! I wasn't sure here and there, but I did! This has been the busiest two weeks of my life. Last week was teacher appreciation week and the PTO usually makes the week very special for the teachers and also organizes a huge luncheon for them all. It was also the weekend before mother's day and I organized a Muffins with mom breakfast for our school. I expected 30 or 40 people to be interested and we ended up getting RSVP's from over 200! To top it all of I was subbing a kindergarten class all week. Thankfully it all came together and went great! Then this week we had field day for the schools in the 90 degree heat all day with no shade to be found. I am so glad this day is over. I have never run so much in my life. I am exhausted but so pleased that it all came together and everything was a success. We had a WONDERFUL showing of volunteers for these events and I am so thankful. I am off to soak in a tub and start planning for next year! :)